03 Jan 2019

Cinema as life and life as cinema

I have always believed that it is absolutely impossible to explain a film simply because it is an “experience”. The role of a filmmaker is to create an extreme personal universe. A place that is utterly and thoroughly mysterious to the point of no return. When you have zero affinity with the accepted images of sociopolitical and with the entire spectrum of current media trends, you must invent and conjure up the images that you need to project to inhabit them. There is no other way!

Whatever I have done in filmmaking has and will always be about Cinema itself, and of course my intimate life, I surrender to nothing outside of these concepts. It took me over a decade or so to fully realise that it was not just a refusal to tell stories using Cinema as a tool, but perhaps a near-total lacking that capacity in me, to begin with. Once I came to this conclusion, everything became so much more vivid. I am genuinely fascinated and perhaps hypnotised by this utterly mysterious dream-Kino-apparatus that functions as a very technical, industrial and dangerous machine. Cinema itself is a complete and utter perversion, sorcery and magic, only because you are looking at people, objects, situations and the universe itself, and not just the things you are not supposed to gaze at but the ‘ordinary’ things.

Moreover, when these items are put under the microscope, we see the teeming multitude of bacteria, and to some degree, we infest this material with our secret histories and thoughts. I always gravitated toward cinephilia, while at the same time I have always been a capable technician, so these two elements are enough for me to make my films. I knew in advance that this type of filmmaking would always marginalise a person, but even that suits me fine, just because I cannot tolerate the vast majority of social life. All I know is that whatever project I make it will revolve around the most personal experiences of my life. The only reason to be sane is the insanity in filming and rendering your own miraculously shreds of evidence of existence.