09 Oct 2018
There is only one resource that can protect you as a filmmaker in the hostile conditions of the film industry (including the arthouse and experimental sectors which can be even more conservative and traditional than the mainstream). This is your filmography. The films that you have made over the years can shield you from the absurdities of this environment and keep you sane.
How many times over the years will you ask yourself if it is all worth it? What’s the point of any of this? The only answers to such questions are in the films you made in the past, films made under a specific set of human circumstances and situations at a given moment in your life. If you make a personal and profoundly confessional form of cinema, you might find that you’ve provided answers to questions that you didn’t even realise existed at the time. Answers that might only become clear when looked back at from years later. It can take a long time to understand the context of a film. Sometimes it never reveals itself. And why should it when the monstrous reality of life is barely endurable as it is? And there is, ultimately, no difference between filmmaking and living life.
Therefore it is useless to compare what you are doing with whatever happens to be in vogue in the film scene at any given, transitory moment. More likely than not, your films won’t fit in. So what? What matters is to continue making your films, to keep honing your art and refining your practice. Keep making films as you keep living. Unless you decide to end it all, of course. But, in the meantime, your filmography is an instrument of survival and your only true reward for being a filmmaker.